Slydial has an in somewhere ...

This is the second article in a week about the service to be in the NY Times. Think someone at Slydial knows someone at the Times? Or is the Grey Lady losing her memory in her old age?

Doorman Switcheroo at London Terrace

Rose Associates are getting more and more sneaky in their quest to rid London Terrace of rent stabilized tenants and illegal sublets. The newest ploy is taking all the doormen from the 24th Street side and putting them on the 23rd Street side and vice versa. The reason, ostensibly, is security; they want tenants' building ID to be checked upon entering the building. The reason, really, is so that they can find out who is in an illegal sublet. I guess they don't figure that some tenants might just walk around the corner to the other side and enter where there is a doorman who knows them. Are they also not taking into account that when the weather is bad (hot, raining, cold) most people walk inside the building as much as they can, often exiting or entering on the opposite side of the building from where they live, thus getting to know all the doormen? I guess not.

London Terrace Dog Policy - revised

One of my neighbors who shall remain nameless at her request, wrote some revisions and additions to the new Dog Policy distributed to residents of London Terrace yesterday.

Enjoy!

Rose Associates dog policy revised:

All dog owners must speak English. And all dogs must be trained to understand English. Dogs who do not understand English will not be permitted in the building.

Dogs are NOT allowed to stop at any of the doorman stations, concierge, dry cleaners, or mailroom. If your dog drags you to these locations, or stops short, doorman have been instructed to administer a short sharp shock with a very mild stun gun. This will not result in any harm to your pet, and it will teach them a valuable lesson.

Doorman have been instructed to halt the administering of dog treats or biscuits of any kind and doorman shall not harbor any such treats in their pockets. In order to ensure that this rule is followed, doormen have been instructed to bring all of their
uniforms to the dry cleaner so their pockets may be sewed closed.

All dogs must be trained to use an indoor voice. A certificate of training and graduation from the course "Shut the Fuck Up!" is required. Please sign up for this class in the management office with Ellen Grubby-Hornet (212 243 7000). As an alternative to this required class, an owner may choose instead to have the dog's vocal cords cut. A certificate exhibiting that this procedure has been done by a certified Veterinarian will be required to be filed with the management office. A yearly review of this certification will be required.

All dogs must be groomed once a month and and must have their nails trimmed and buffed to ensure our beautiful lobby and apartment floors are not marked or scratched. Please provide a copy of the receipt from the groomer to the management office each month (along with your rent check)to show that these services have been performed. If you prefer to have this service performed by the London Terrace dry cleaner, this can be arranged and automatically added onto your rent bill
each month. Please inquire at the management office for this special program.

Although dogs are are not permitted in any public areas of the building, including laundry rooms, gardens or roof terraces, rodents and vermin of any kind; and all insects with less than 200 legs and weighing less than 4oz. are permitted.

It is recommended that all dogs see a dog nutritionist who will provide a diet that results in perfectly shaped feces to allow for easy pick-up. A brochure is available in the management office. Please stop by and pick one up (but please don't bring your dog, sorry).

Your dog will be required to be participate in a "weigh-in" once a month to ensure they do not exceed 25lbs. If they exceed 25lbs, you will be given 2 months to "minimize" your dog. If slimming is not successful, eviction proceedings will be begin immediately and without hesitation.

Pregnant dogs are not allowed (at any time, for any reason) in our buildings.

Your cooperation in this matter is appreciated. Pets have been a grand tradition here at London Terrace Gardens since 1929, but personally I would rather not see them or hear them. Ridding London Terrace Gardens of all these creatures (and the people who love them) will be just be a part of my glorious legacy.

Ellen Grubby-Hornet

Rose Associates says: Get along, little doggies!

Came home today to find this posted in the lobby and under our door:

In case you can't read it, it basically says it's a "friendly reminder" of the rules and policies on dogs. I read it as Rose trying to get people out however they can, now by "enforcing" the dog rules and ordering offending parties to move or live in LTG sans canine companion.

Here's the short version of the rules:

Dogs have to be carried or on a short leash in public areas (what do they consider short?)
Owners must control their pets so they don't "jump on" or act threatening (what do they consider threatening?)toward another tenant.
Dogs are not allowed in any public areas unless going to or from their apartments, esp. the laundry room or courtyard (I always take Tony to the laundry room, what's the big deal? It's not like he pees on the floor, and he's even killed a roach or two. They should be happy for the help, they need it, if you get my drift).
And "most important of all" we are required to "curb and promptly clean up after" our dogs. (Well, no shit. Literally. I have walked out in the morning to a veritable mine field of dog poo and wondered who on earth is leaving it. I mean, the size of some of these turds makes you wonder what else the owner didn't notice.)

Yes, these are all fairly common sense policies, but just the fact that they came from Rose makes me suspicious. This is the company that threw out all of our doormats. It's also the company that erected a "sidewalk bridge" around the whole building cause they don't have the money to fix the falling bricks. And that's the same company that took six months to repair the entrance at 420.

It also sounds all kinds of illegal to "revoke permission" to keep a dog in a building that allows pets, but hey, I'm just a little ol' dog owner who's disappointed that I will no longer have the company of my canine while folding laundry.

I wonder what put him over the edge?

Park worker goes postal.

People's 311 in the News!

From the flickr group

London Terrace is falling down ... YET again

Ok, so the joke is getting less and less funny.

Not only is the scaffolding STILL up around 450 from nearly a year ago, now falling bricks have closed down the 460 entrance.



The "management" tacked up this notice by the elevators, telling everyone to avoid 460. Ironically, this notice can only be read by people who have already successfully navigated the challenge of finding an alternate entry into the building, ha. Note that it says "emergency" repairs were necessary. I wonder what their idea of an emergency is, and I've started a pool among some of the neighbors as to how long till scaffolding goes up, and how long till they do any kind of "emergency repairs." Anyone wanting in on the action, there are a few choice spots left.

I heard that they were measuring around the hydrangea this morning, presumably for scaffolding and more of that nasty green mesh crap that's draped all over 450 like a Christo (can I just add again, for nearly a year while no one has touched the bricks with any intent to repair, and which smells like a green tunnel of urine since every dog in the nabe pisses on it).

I heard that Rose blew their budget on renovations in vacant apartments that weren't really necessary in their unchecked effort to charge a small fortune for the so-called "luxury pre-war" apartments here. They ran out of money, and now don't have the dough to either "finish" the brickwork on 450 or to even begin to work on 460.

Maybe we should just take the pot from the pool and donate the proceeds to the London Terrace Gardens "luxury pre-war" repair fund. WTF?

Speak up and maybe save a life

Help choke the turn at 9th and 23rd where a woman was killed yesterday by writing to City Council Speaker Christine Quinn. Maybe those of us who live in LTG should just go and knock on her door.

Tragedy at London Terrace!

Someone jumped from one of the upper floors of 470 West 24th Street. The body landed here:


on the roof of the swimming pool. If I find out anything else, I'll update.

[Update: The victim was one of our neighbors from the 23rd Street side of the building. He apparently leapt from the sun deck on the roof of 470. He and his wife were residents of London Terrace Gardens, and kept an office in the building as well. Our thoughts and sympathies are with the family.]

New York is a small town

Has anything like this ever happened to any of you?

On Friday night while on the L on my way to a friend's birthday party, a woman got on the train with her son. The kid was unusual looking, reddish hair but with kind of African American features and really thick glasses; he was cute as anything. So I go to the party, and I'm coming home a hour or so later and I get on the L train and who gets on at the next stop after I get on but this woman and her kid. What are the odds of this? The same three people on not only the same subway train but in the same car within 7 feet of each other. The kid recognized me and looked at me with his mouth hanging open for a few seconds like he couldn't believe it either.

On Sunday morning while walking Tony I see a guy crossing the street with a cup of coffee. He looks similar to a neighbor of ours, so I noticed him. Later that day, again walking Tony, at the same intersection, I see the SAME GUY carrying a pizza across the street.

Is it just that I am hyper-observant of who and what is around me, and so I'm noticing things that most people don't, or am I in some kind of cosmic warp with the same people. These things amaze me more than creep me out, but seriously, WTF?

City Scoops

As if ChelseaNow wasn't bad enough ...
This came in the mail the other day. I can't believe that someone actually started another freebie magazine (not sure if it's always going to be a freebie, though I can't imagine anyone paying for it) in New York. Hopefully we won't be subjected to yet another of those hideous plastic free newspaper dispensers on our street corners with this crap in it. Most of the ads in it were from the same obviously desperate podiatrist, one of which depicted an open sore on the bottom of a foot!

The only thing more unbelievable than the weird ads and bad writing was the presence of Donald Trump and his son on the cover. How they agreed to do anything this cheesy is beyond me. Oh, wait ...